Four months ago my life was changed forever. While tramping on a very remote part of Stewart Island, we stumbled upon a scene of horror at sunset, several pods of 150 pilot whales beaching themselves in the shallow surf. We did all that we could but they ultimately all died. Their cries and clicks haunt my dreams and still wake me up at night. How could I not help them? Us humans have done so much harm to our oceans but also have created so many impossible things and built incredible machines, how could we not save these whales? We should have been able to save them. I never want to experience that fear, helplessness, anger and grief again. The ghosts of 150 beautiful pilot whales walk with me everyday, mothers, babies, brothers, sisters, fathers, all gone but not forgotten at least to me ❤️ This weekend I took the first step to becoming stronger by becoming a marine mammal medic in Kaikoura with @projectjonahnz - who has looked after me as I’ve come to terms with my experience. It was so hard to relive those memories but now I feel one step closer to not being helpless and ignorant with strandings and I hope I can begin to do my part in saving and protecting this amazing creatures 🐳

Stewart Island / Rakiura